Funny man pages - sofistikovaný humor v terminálu

Hledal jsem na netu nějaké zábavné věcičky s tématikou linuxu, kterými bych mohl obdarovat pár kamarádů pod stromečkem, a omylem jsem narazil na něco, co obdarovalo s předstihem mě.

Funny man pages je sbírka několika celkem vtipných helpů, které ocení zejména programátoři, administrátoři a další návštěvníci těchto stránek. Určitě existuje varianta pro openSUSE, já instaloval v Ubuntu z repozitáře:

sudo apt-get install funny-manpages

Po instalaci vyzkoušejte v terminálu např. příkaz

man baby

NAME
baby – create new process from two parents

SYNOPSIS
baby -sex m [-name name]

DESCRIPTION
baby is initiated when one parent process polls another server process
through a socket connection in the BSD version or through pipes in the
System V implementation. baby runs at low priority for approximately
forty weeks and then terminates with a heavy system load. Most systems
require constant monitoring when baby reaches its final stages of exe_
cution.

Older implementations of baby did not require both initiating processes
to be present at the time of completion. In those versions the initi_
ating process which was not present was awakened and notified of the
results upon completion. It has since been determined that the pres_
ence of both parent processes result in a generally lower system load
at completion, and thus current versions of baby expect both parent
processes to be active during the final stages.

Successful completion of baby results in the creation and naming of a
new process. Parent processes then broadcast messages to all other
processes, local and remote, informing them of their new status.

OPTIONS
-sex define the gender of the created process

-name assign the name name to the new process

EXAMPLES
baby -sex f -name Jacqueline

completed successfully on July 9, 1992 at 9:11pm. Jacqueline's vital
statistics: 8 pounds 3 oz, 20 inches, long dark hair. The parent pro_
cess, Kim Dunbar, is reportedly doing fine.

SEE ALSO
cigar(6), dump(5), cry(3).

BUGS
Despite its complexity, baby only knows one signal, SIGCHLD, (or SIGCLD
in the System V implementation), which it uses to contact the parent
processes. One or both parent processes must then inspect the baby
process to determine the cause of the signal.

The sleep(1) command may not work as expected on either parent process
for some time afterward, as each new instance of baby sends intermit_
tent signals to the parent processes which must be handled by the par_
ents immediately.

A baby process will frequently dump core, requiring either or both par_
ent processes to clean up after it.

Despite the reams of available documentation on invoking and maintain_
ing baby, most parent processes are overwhelmed.

Z textu odejdete klávesou „q“. Další výrazy, pro které jste doinstalovali nápovědu jsou:

celibacy
condom
date
echo
flame
flog
gong
grope, egrope, fgrope
party
rescrog
rm
rtfm
tm
uubp
xkill
xlart
sex
strfry

Tento příspěvek můžete brát jako formu boje s předvánočním stresem.